I Feel Pretty-Unpretty
by corikane
Summary: After breaking up with Jesse, Beca has a heart to heart with her best friend.


**A/N: Another one-shot. I hope you like it. (No copyright infringement intended - this includes songs mentioned.)  
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Chloe went back into the living room where Beca still sat on the couch. The Bellas captain had leaned her head back and was staring at the ceiling. She seemed deep in thought and more than a little sad. Chloe ignored the messy remnants of this evening's Bellas meeting and sat down beside her flatmate and friend. She reached over where Beca's hands lay in her lap and took her right one, pulling it to her, squeezing it. Beca turned her head to the redhead.

"You alright?" The only answer she received was Beca shaking her head and then resuming to stare at the ceiling. "I'm pretty sure Amy was only joking when she suggested _Call Me Maybe_ for the Regionals." This earned her a small smile but it vanished quickly as Beca heaved a deep sigh and then said:

"Jesse and I broke up."

"Oh, my God... why... what... when did that happen?" Chloe stuttered her surprise and Beca finally lifted her head from the back of the couch and looked at her friend.

"This afternoon," she said.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I... we needed to discuss the songs for the Regionals and if I told you... I would have had to tell the Bellas and then we wouldn't have gotten anything else done tonight, you know that," the brunette answered.

"Oh, Becs," Chloe said and pulled her friend into a tight hug. It lasted a while and Beca felt tears well up in her eyes. She squeezed them shut and buried her head in Chloe's shoulder. "It's okay, sweety. I'm here," the redhead assured, stroking Beca's hair.

After some minutes in which Beca fought her tears and Chloe her curiosity, the brunette lifted her head from Chloe's shoulder.

"You wanna talk about it?" The former Bella asked and Beca nodded. She leaned back against the couch facing her friend now. Chloe once again took her hand between her own. For a second Beca marvelled at the healing abilities of Chloe Beale, the way she always knew how to make her feel better, then she said:

"Jesse... told me that he was unhappy with me."

"And you didn't know?" Chloe asked and Beca lifted a shoulder.

"I'm... not sure. I mean... it wasn't like it was in the beginning but that was to be expected, right? We didn't see a lot of each other what with Bellas practice and Trebles practice and his studies and... well, my studies... what little there was of it... but I thought we were good. I worked a lot at the station and he... worked weekends at that studio in Atlanta. It's not like... I mean we were both busy." Chloe nodded. "But it wasn't just that for him, obviously... he said that we could probably change some of that if it was only about that..." Beca hung her head as if in shame and Chloe felt her insides churn. She had an inkling that Jesse had dumped most of the blame for the break-up on Beca's shoulders and it made her angry. She tried to stay calm for Beca's sake and pushed the brunette's hair back behind her ear which made her friend look up again, trusting blue eyes met her own. Beca gave her a small smile.

"What else did he say?" Chloe asked. Again a deep sigh before Beca said:

"He... he took exception at the way I'm dressing," she finally said.

"Aca-scuse me!" Chloe exclaimed and Beca grinned. It felt good to have someone get all indignant on one's own behalf and it made Beca feel better - if only for a short moment.

"He said... that he would have liked for me to dress... more feminine," Beca said and her smile vanished in an instant as she relived the humiliation of that particular discussion of their break-up.

"The nerve of that guy! I mean, where does he get off telling you what to wear? I mean... you look... you... you're... sexy in your tank tops and shirts and... pants... Jesse's an idiot!" She finally ground out, blushing.

"You think... I'm sexy?"

"Of course you are." They looked at each other for a long moment. Beca smiled at her friend and Chloe grinned a little sheepishly but still confident. She knew what she was saying. Beca linked her free hand with Chloe's squeezing gratefully.

"Thank you," she simply said.

"I can't believe he said that, or that it even matters. I mean... he knew the way you like to dress before you got together and I would have thought that it was one of the things that he liked about you... what happened?" Beca shook her head at the question.

"I don't know. He said that he would have liked for me to... sometimes wear something a little bit more sexy. He actually said that he liked me in the Bellas uniform, with the skirt..." Beca rolled her eyes.

"Damn! I mean not even Aubrey was entirely comfortable in that outfit. It was... old-fashioned, completely... showy."

"I know but it did a good job of keeping the male part of the audience happy," Beca said.

"I bet. I just... didn't think that Jesse would go for... the feminine mystique-look. Did someone tell that guy that the 50s are over?" Chloe's eyes blazed in anger.

"I shouldn't have told you this. I mean... Jesse is not... usually that much of a jerk. You know that, right?"

"Don't defend him, Becs. Telling a woman she is not feminine enough is one of the... meanest and most ridiculous things a man can do! Think about it. Where do men get off telling women what to wear? It's a big part of sexism. It's... God..." Chloe closed her eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. "I didn't mean to get all feminist on you, sorry."

"It's okay. I mean you're right. It's just... he..." Beca once again hung her head then looked up into the questioning blue eyes of her friend. "He actually compared me to you... and Aubrey, too. And Stacie."

"He... compared us? How?"

"Well, he took all of you as example on how to be more feminine."

"He didn't!" But Beca nodded. "That ass!" Chloe exclaimed. "We're all... completely different people. Just... I mean, Stacie is... and Aubrey... God, you would look ridiculous if you tried to dress like Bree... and I... I mean... I'm not dressing for other people and I'm not even that feminine myself... and even if I was... God!"

"I know. But... well, you're all really hot. The kind of hotness that men appreciate. Obviously my style is... too masculine."

"Did he say that?" Beca nodded once again. "I can't believe this! You. Are. Very. Hot, Beca Mitchell," Chloe enunciated. She looked deeply into her friend's eyes, her right hand holding the brunette's face. "I'm not just saying this. I always thought so." Beca smiled shyly.

"I know," she simply said and Chloe nodded. She let her hand fall from Beca's cheek and returned it to their joined hands.

"No man has the right to make you feel like you're not woman enough, Becs. You are a beautiful woman. And you know best how to dress, how to be... God, I'm so angry," Chloe said and got up from the couch for a moment. She just stood, looking around the room which was a mess at the moment with glasses and plates on every surface and a stack of pizza boxes and empty bottles thrown in for good measure.

"You never liked Jesse much, did you?" Beca asked into Chloe's thoughts. The redhead looked at her friend for a moment then back at the chaos around them. After another silent moment she fell back into the cushions of the couch.

"I thought he was okay at first... just... I don't know," she almost answered Beca's question.

"He was jealous of you, did you know that?" Chloe looked at Beca surprised then she smirked which made Beca laugh. Chloe laughed, too.

"I never did anything... well, not since you two started dating after the finals," Chloe said and her friend nodded.

"I know. It wasn't even about that - and it's not like Jesse ever admitted to being jealous... it was just after he found out that you were bi, you know."

"For serious?" Beca nodded. "When was that? I mean, didn't everybody know?"

"I don't know. I didn't for quite some time... though I had my suspicions. But he only found out at that party, I think it was Amy's birthday... when you brought Erin."

"Erin? That was... during the summer... I.. right, Amy's birthday... with the chocolate fountain." They both laughed at the memory. Amy's parents had rented a house on the beach and most of Barden's a cappella-world had attended. Some friends of Amy's had come from Australia and then there had been Erin.

"Jesse asked whether we had already recruited another Bella and I told him that she was... your current bedmate."

"What?"

"I was already quite drunk," Beca apologized. "He didn't seem to know what... no, I called her your bunkmate and he seemed puzzled and then... I said she was your sort-of-girlfriend..."

"She wasn't my girlfriend. We just... had some sexy-times together," Chloe protested.

"Hence the 'sort-of'."

"Oh, right."

"Well, Jesse seemed to catch on and he said..."

"Let me guess, he asked something like: Chloe's a lesbian?" the redhead interrupted and grinned. Beca laughed.

"His exact words were: I didn't know Chloe was a lesbian," she confirmed. "I told him you liked boys and girls and from then on whenever he saw you there was a slight frown on his face."

"That's ridiculous," Chloe said.

"Of course it is. He had no reason to be jealous but he hated that we lived together and... that we spent time together. Maybe that was the main reason..."

"You think that's why he broke up?" Beca shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know. I mean he wouldn't say so. He wouldn't even confess that he was bothered by your sexuality." Beca leaned her head on Chloe's shoulder.

"I wouldn't have pitched him as a phobe either," Chloe said.

"And that's not how he liked to see himself but he's definitely on the conservative side. And he didn't like for his girlfriend to live with... someone as hot as you," Beca smirked and Chloe laughed.

"You think I'm hot, huh?"

"Oh please, everybody with eyes thinks you're hot!" They giggled.

"Then I'm in good company," Chloe said and entwined her fingers with Beca's. They simply sat for a while, leaning their heads together.

"Beca."

"Hmmm-mh?"

"You are... amazing. Don't let Jesse tell you otherwise, okay?" Beca smiled at Chloe's words.

"You know, I think his words would have had more impact before I became a Bella. You all... every single one of you... you have such confidence. As a group... we're all beautiful, all sexy. I never thought I'd feel that way but... I'm part of a group of incredible women and your opinion of me counts more than any man's - even Jesse's. I love being part of that." Chloe smiled also.

"Well, I'm not really a Bella anymore but... I know what you mean. And it's only been that way since last year when you guys joined. Before that it was more about teasing each other, making snark remarks. It's one thing I love about the new Bellas." Beca nodded. They sat for a while longer then Beca said:

"We should probably get rid of this mess," she pointed at the table.

"Yeah," Chloe admitted reluctantly.

"Thank you for making me feel better."

"Any time, sweety." Chloe once agian cupped Beca's cheek and kissed her on the head.

"You never told me why you don't like Jesse," Beca said and looked up at her friend. They locked eyes for a seemingly endless moment.

"Maybe because I was jealous, too."

Chloe got up from the couch and started picking up dirty plates and glasses. After a moment's thinking Beca joined her. They worked in silence, contemplating this evening's words, past actions... and future prospects.

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**Song: _I Feel Pretty/Unpretty_ by Lea Michelle and Dianna Agron from _Glee_.**


End file.
